So...let's start with the biggest thing to happen on a Tuesday since my son's birth (wait, I think it was Tuesday, or maybe Thursday. I know it started with a T. ) Anyways, the memorial to Michael Jackson. Like everyone, I revered him. I was not a die-hard fan, but with Michael Jackson everyone is a die-hard fan, because I have never met a person who did not love Michael Jackson. Even Alien Ant Farm reprised his song; he had appeal for the rockers. We all grew up with Michael just as we grew up with family. He was our generation, and no one surpassed him. And I am surprised at how much it hurt to watch his memorial. I was crying into a towel, and my son saw me and came over and started wiping his eyes with the towel to copy me. I pray for his soul, his pain must have been immense, but his reach was greater than his pain. For his children, I pray God shields them from the pitfalls of spotlight, that they will not be a cautionary tale of the dangers of stardom, as their father was. ::TEARS::
Okay, jumping from sadness to anger, nay frustration. I always wonder how far I will go to make a point, and so far I realize...I will go pretty damn far. I am fascinated by how much influence a person can have over their surroundings when they refuse to give up. On a larger scale, I always wonder how people getting together can curtail hunger, AIDS, famine. How can I hope to do that if I can't and won't fight for myself? How can I defend others when I lay down and submit over trivial issues. Can I get back your land or your right to food if I can't even get back my $100 from a seemingly unscrupulous pageant director? (The true scruples of this person remain to be seen. I am not implying they are unethical, I am implying uncooperativeness up to this point. That is all). Well, I guess in the case of Michael, you can heal the world even when you can't heal yourself.
This is all because I want to be a "professional agitator". I want to make changes for a living. Push the envelope until it opens up. Fight until things happen. I guess I'm practicing right now. Is suing necessary? Am I doing too much for $100? I don't know. But if $100 wasn't worth anything, she would not be so set on keeping it. So obviously, it is more valuable than other girls are believing. So...yes. I will keep fighting. For my right to be made whole. I have sacrificed alot for this, and I deserve to be recompensed damages for my loss. YESSIRREE MA'AM!
As for my goals, I want a shop. I think I want a T-shirt shop. Yes, I want to enter the oversaturated market of fashion. But hey, if it's oversaturated then that means there is ample room for me. And considering I don't wear T-shirts, this should be great! I have a name too. No logo and no design. But I think I'm going to work on this. As intellectual as debating neo-conservatism is, I also have a penchant for fashion and creativity, and that aspect of my life is unfullfilled. And it is leaving my life feeling a tad...drole. Children's shirts are great too. I could make some that my gorgeous son would wear. This could be awesome. Looking forward to it.
HAHA! I've got a vision now!
And I finally finished Paulo Coelho's "The Witch of Portobello" last night. Surprise ending. I appreciated that. More on that to follow.
One more thought: consider this. Questions seem like the most harmless activity you can engage in. Since childhood, we were taught you can never ask too many questions. I have learned that the very nature of asking the right question can be an aggressive act and start revolutions. I can provoke emotions across a wide range of spectrums. Questions disrupt the balance and demand private issues be brought to the light. That is why, the right question at the right time can get you in trouble and/or liberate you.
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