My problem is

Just like Paulo Coelho says in the Alchemist, people never realize their dreams because they are afraid of being happy. I refuse to believe that happiness in a couple can be achieved and that it can be sustained. My mind wants to glorify the single escapades of women who are smart, independent, sexually adventurous, and don't need anybody. And this is not the truth of the situation, it is just the view from someone looking through rose-colored lenses. Why do I not let myself believe that a life-long friendship and partnership is more fulfilling? I've never seen it firsthand, so it seems foreign to me. Even at this point, I am torn between what I want and what I believe is the limit of what I can get. And that is sad. How do I believe in the fairytale of love when I put the book down?