The Pilgrimage

I just finished reading The Pilgrimage by Paulo Coelho. This is the third book I have read from him. The other two are The Alchemist, the world-reknowned book, and Brida. These books are changing my life in drastic ways that I cannot even begin to put into words. It is like someone has called to my remembrance all the experiences of my childhood which led me to believe today that I have a strong destiny and calling on my life. I feel there is somewhere I need to be and something that is calling me to grasp it, and as of yet, I have not located what exactly it is. It's my mission, which I could liken to Coelho's journey towards his sword and his mission to discover how to use it. I am still on the elementary step, because I have not yet found my path. I just feel it's presence calling me. I hate to speak on such an ethereal level, but after reading his books, I am trying to learn to embrace my intuition as it does serve a unique purpose for everyone. I have always known that there is knowledge that exists beyond our normal plane of thought. Even as a girl, I would think and complain that everyone was average. People's contentment with living average always bothered and perplexed me. It was as if they were visionless. I always wondered that if people really believed in God and they really believed that God was all-powerful, why didn't those same people accomplish magnificent things? I was seven years old when I questioned this to my mother. I remember that she sat there and sat nothing as we drove the 60 Freeway. Why do I remember that day specifically--looking out over the houses off the freeway and thinking that complacency must be mispleasing to God. I always disdained the lack of a higher dream, and my desire (although masked by the materialism of the world at times) is growing and growing. But for some reason, with all that I knew deep down, and all that Coelho's words inspired and confirmed in me, I still lack the courage to truly venture out. I am not afraid of failure. I am afraid of disappointment and of hurt. I am afraid of the knowing that the path to my destiny is a struggle, and the thought of never reaching it when I want it so much will kill me before my time. However, never reaching your destiny is a death all in itself.